What does "presence" really mean and how do I get there? | #069

[Intro] Welcome to the Art of tuning in podcast with Maria Furlano, sharing insights, tools and conversations to inspire your energetic well being.

Hello, everyone, welcome. This is Maria Furlano, I am so glad that you are here. Thank you so much. I'm so grateful that you've put some time aside to listen to this episode, episode number 69.

Let's talk about "presence"

0:26

Today we're going to talk about presence. And if you've been struggling with the term being present, or feeling present or making more presence in your life, I want to touch upon some aspects that have been coming up in my teaching and in my private client work, over the last several months where I've been noticing little things that we all do, that may be causing some struggling with this topic that is actually supposed to make your life feel a lot better. We're going to jump into that today. And I can't wait to share some insights with you.

1:04

If you are new here. Thank you. Thank you for joining me, thank you for finding me. I'm Maria Furlano. I'm a physician of Chinese Medicine, I specialize as a Dr. of Medical Qigong. I'm also a spiritual intuitive and I work with private clients and I have an online studio membership. And everything I do is for people who want to expand their frequency, who want to tap into their intuitive gifts, all while elevating their health and vitality at the same time. So I'd love for you to explore more. If you're looking for this kind of work, please visit theartoftuningin.com/studio and you can learn all about the studio there, you can learn all about other things there as well.

And you can also access a free four minute meditation, guided visualization that will allow you to calm your mind in just four minutes. 4 min. to calm your mind and reset your energy > CLICK HERE to access. I'd love to share that with you as well. Free Gift go get it and I love to have you part of my community. I'm so glad you're here. And for everyone who has been listening. Thank you. Thank you, I never take you for granted. So excited to share some new things with you.

Do you keep trying to be "present" in your life?

2:18

So let's jump in. This is a common question that has come up over a long time. And you might be thinking this as well, I keep trying to be present in my life. And for example, when I meditate, nothing is really happening. Have you ever thought about that? Has that ever come up for you? That's something that's shared with me a lot. And I want to pinpoint that when we say that we keep trying to be present. Presence is a state of being right, I think we can all agree on that. I don't think that's new. But a state of being just is it's not a state of trying or trying to do something or creating great action or movement forward. And what happens a lot, especially with meditation, but of course, this happens with Qigong. You know, Qi Gong is a moving meditation, it can happen with a Yoga practice, it can happen with anything that you're trying to do as far as creating or making something happen. When we do these kinds of energetic cultivation practices. The goal is to be present in the moment, in order to allow what ever is meant to flow or arise for us in new ways that we haven't discovered yet. That's the goal of being present. What happens is that we really want to meditate and we really want through that meditation to achieve something. Or we really want through our Qigong cultivation practice to achieve something or you know, through anything through through anything that we are practicing, that wanting to achieve takes us out of the present moment. It takes us into a forward expectation.

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4:28

And that's what I'm talking about when we really learn what presence means. It is an all encompassing time of that moment. So when we go into meditation, or into any kind of Qi Gong or Tai Chi or cultivation practice, or creative writing, or creating art, whatever it is, whatever we move into, that we want to be in the flow with, the first thing that we can do to help ourselves is to just Back in really quickly and say, "Do I have an expectation about what I'm doing right now?" Am I forward thinking into hoping something will occur from this?

5:14

For example, if I'm going to meditate, am I hoping I'm going to have this amazing experience, this may amazing connection, amazing download of information am I going to see things are things going to open up for me? Because when you have those expectations, you're not in the present, you're in the hope you're already way ahead of yourself. That is the opposite of being present. And sometimes when you start to work with the energy, of presence, of being fully present, everything can feel really slow, things feel a little scary, because it feels like you're in limbo, or it feels like you're not prepared or that you're vulnerable. And also, it can feel a little boring. 5:57 If you're used to being someone who is constantly preparing who is great at lists, who really likes things in alignment, as far as steps, it can be very difficult to just be present.

Are expectations keeping you stuck?

6:13

So a great way to help with that is to put into your practice that as you're getting comfortable, as you're you know, getting ready to do whatever it is that you check in with yourself and make sure that you are not creating expectations. Because expectations are not being present. Being present is the I Am, it's the knowing. There's a difference between knowing that everything is in alignment, that everything is moving as it should, that everything will open up as it should. That's a presence. That's a knowing that's an alignment, that is trust, that is faith, that is different from hoping that things are going to open up or trying to move forward and, and be better at something. So can you feel the difference with that. And sometimes what I'll do with people is I'll actually say that to them, and then have them stop and feel the difference. And it can be very difficult at first, for people to feel the difference, because they're so used to being in that forward motion. When they stop and they say, "I'm just going to be," they realize that part of the issue that they're struggling with, is that they really don't trust that they really can't surrender to the moment. And there's no criticism in that. It's just that we have been taught so much to keep moving forward to keep developing to keep advancing to keep creating, to continue to better ourselves to have more and more and more. That is a complete and total reversal and opposite energy of simply being present in trust. And following that trust, step by step by step.

8:08

This does not mean that in life, we don't create plans, and we don't have steps. But again, this is that balance of energy. If we are only in our life, creating steps, creating action plans, moving forward, reaching out reaching in front of us, then we don't have the balance of ever being still and listening to especially a greater wisdom that is available to us. We don't ever stop and really tune into who we are. We are influenced constantly by what's around us. And we're either reacting and responding to that all the time. Like I uh, you always hear me talk about our reactions and our responses because that is how we balance our energy. When we learn how we react and respond to things when we gain mastery over understanding ourselves so well to know how we react and respond. We can catch ourselves so much more easily and bring ourselves back into alignment.

Trust and surrender can be scary...

So presence is part of that learning to be present in a moment is learning to have trust, and it's learning to be able to surrender. A lot of times when we talk about the word surrender when people think about the word surrender, it's scary for them. It may bring up things like well, surrendering means I'm giving up or I'm making myself vulnerable. And that is of course in in spiritual alignment in energetic work that is not at all, what is the essence of the surrender energy. The surrendering energy is a releasing to a divine love. It is a releasing to An energy that is such a high loving vibration, that it holds you that it holds us in such a beautiful way that we can let go, that we can be who we truly are, without having to put up a fight or confrontation or block ourselves or protect ourselves, you know, there's nothing to protect, there's nothing to defend. That's actually a beautiful statement that I learned from one of my Qigong teachers, this this, this statement of nothing to protect, nothing to defend, took me a really long time to understand what that meant. And to actually move into the experience of, oh, this is what that's like, to be able to just be without looking over my shoulder or needing to react and respond, but to actually be. So I know, from personal experience, that it can take a while to move through these different states to examine, what am I trying so hard to protect? How am I guarding myself? What do I have faith in? What do I believe has my back that comes up a lot when I work with people, especially when I'm teaching, I always ask people to say, who has your back spiritually? And then what that means is, what is it that you believe in? Because whatever it is that you believe in, you're connecting to? And so who is there? What is that alignment there that you can trust in, that you can have faith in, because that is what you're going to allow yourself to surrender into, to surrender into that deepest love of what it is that you believe in what it is that you align with? Sometimes people say, Well, you know, I thought about it. And actually, I'm not sure anymore what I believe in, or what I align with, I'm not sure, that's fantastic, that is a great place to be, because that gives you time to move into your heart center, and to actually begin to listen.

When we say something that we believe in, we're actually moving into a mental state. When we finally find that energy, of love, of alignment of truth of you know, what has our back, like I said, that is a feeling state that is a frequency state, a vibrational state, that is a knowing that you have in your heart, in your solar plexus, it's in your soul, we move out of the thinking state, and we're actually in this vibratory frequency of feeling and knowing and being. And that, of course, is presence. And that's where we want to get to.

So again, if we're thinking of an expectation, if we're wanting something to happen, that is the opposite of actually being present. That old saying, you know, listen more, talk less, that is what presence is you're listening, and you are waiting, and Hearing, Knowing, feeling, being, not responding, responding, responding, not actioning out. And of course, when we learn to do this, in our meditations, and in our Qigong practices, and you know, in our Yoga practices, and in any cultivation practice, that you have in your life, in walking, meditations, and in hiking, you know, in everything that we do, where we can be present, especially with nature, we learn how that vibration feels to us, we learn how that frequency feels in our body. It's preparing us for the rest of our life. So when we learn how that frequency feels in our body, then we're able to interact with other people and know if we're in that frequency or not in that frequency. And that's how we find presence in all of our life.

I can't seem to hold the shifts?

The other question that always comes up or comments or conversations that come up, that's the most common they say, you know, I am feeling the surrender. I'm feeling the peace and feeling the love. I'm feeling the presence when I meditate. When I do my cultivation, practices, Qigong, whatever it is, but then I go back into life and feel like I'm hit right because it becomes very sensory, with all of this fear and all of these issues and all of this stuff that I'm supposed to sort through or react to or solve all that feeling of Being present and, and being calm and feeling like I have some faith that I have some trust just goes right out the window. And I don't know how to merge the two.

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So I want to say the first of all, this is why we practice, people sometimes expect they do something once, and it's going to carry into the rest of their life. And these practices are where you work with yourself where you integrate it into your life. This is a practice that you do to elevate your energy and your frequency, so that you're prepared as we move forward. So it's a mastery, and it's a daily practice. But this is the key. And this is what I really want you to take away from today and why it's exciting to have a practice you practice tuning in. The reason why it's exciting, is because when you learn your sensation, your specific frequency of alignment, you will always know that frequency.

16:05

And the goal is to be able to tune in tap into turn on a line that frequency at will, when ever you want to. So right ideally, right? We want to be in that frequency all the time. But in life we we move we move around, things do hit us, we have emotions that come and bring up certain things. But when you learn to feel your own true alignment, when you learn to feel your own frequency, then you have a choice, you have a choice of staying in the emotions that are causing overwhelming anxiety, throwing your body off all of these things, you can stay there. Or when you're ready, when you're ready to move out of that and into a more peaceful state and more aligned state a more empowering state, you know how to move your system, your energetic system, changing your energetic frequency into a new alignment, and move through your life in that space where of course you will find the solutions to what you need, you will be able to be healthier your immune system will raise, you will just move through life in a much more flowing way. Because you're not fighting with all of the emotions and all of the overwhelming things that are coming at you because you're able to realign your system. And of course that takes practice. And that takes tools learning tools if you don't know them. But the exciting part is that every single person can do it. Every single person can learn how to tune into their specific alignment of frequency, and be able to bring that back into alignment. If it ever moves out of alignment, which it will it'll move out of alignment many times a day, that's just being in a world that is so dynamic. It's just going to happen. It's just going to happen that way. And there's nothing wrong with that. But the mastery is being able to catch yourself and then have a choice, our free will of choice. Being able to say do I want to feel this way? Okay, maybe I do for a while. Maybe I need to feel bad right now. Maybe I need to cry and let it out. And I need to feel this. That's awesome. There's nothing wrong with that. But then you get to a point you say, Okay, now I want to move back into who I know I am into a state where I can really receive the guidance from source from my guides from whatever it is that you believe in, that I can return to that, that I have the power to do that because no one else can do that for us. Everybody can give us advice, which I always say, you know, reach out to people have connections get help, because people see things from a different view. And that's wonderful. But in the end when we have to make a decision or when we're living our life the way we want. We need to be in our own frequency in our own alignment. And there's no other guidance than our own internal guidance that's aligned. And so learning how to move into that frequency is a game changer. It changes everything in your life. You are no longer subject to bouncing off the walls with all of these things that are coming at you that you're constantly trying to defend and block away. You're able to stop and you're able to be present.

Keys to remember...

So if this is something that you are working towards, remember to check in with yourself. If you're struggling with this. Remember to check in with yourself in say, "Am I expecting something right now, instead of stopping?" Am I feeling uneasy because it's so quiet, because that's another thing, we get very uneasy when things are quiet. Because we're not used to that, you know, we're in a very busy world, and things are always moving and changing. And sometimes quiet, being really quiet, can set off things in us. So I'm gonna see if I can kind of explain this. So of course, being quiet will calm nervous system, right? Of course it will. However, sometimes if we're not used to being quiet, we may interpret that as almost a dangerous situation, like, Wow, it's really, really quiet. I don't know what to do right now.

20:51

If it feels too quiet, we can start to get anxious because we're moving into a completely different state that we're not used to being in. So it's always good to begin with short bursts, as I've said in the past.

If you are going to meditate, for example, or do Qigong exercises, or do a cultivation practice, do it for five minutes, and allow your system to begin to learn how to shift states, that's really important, when we're learning how to be present really present in this aligned way. We want to understand and if you can visualize this or feel this in your body, it's it's even more powerful, but that you're actually moving from one vibratory place to another vibrating place.

Energy shifting is like a musical instrument

It's like a musical instrument, you're changing scales, you're changing tones. And when you do that, it takes a little time. And then it moves into this new place. And you want to allow yourself, the space, and the honor and the respect of getting comfortable with that new place with that new tone. With that new frequency, please don't expect that you're going to feel totally comfortable in a new space.

22:19

So what normally tends to happen is the reason why, of course, people become so excited about practicing cultivation and energy exercises is because when they begin to do them, they feel such a shift. And they feel so much more relaxed, and they feel hopeful and joyful, they go, this is great. This is how I want to feel all the time. But then as you begin to continue it and go deeper, there's more layers, and your cellular structure, your body is beginning to shift and change. And you want to get comfortable at those new changes. Because as you're changing, you may still be in relationships or around environments that are moving at the same frequency, the same pace that you used to move into. And you may be feeling a little bit of a disconnect there. A lot of times our life choices will change we'll move through differently in life will make different choices, we'll choose to spend our time differently, we'll choose to react and respond differently. As I said before, because our frequency is changing, we're moving into more of a real healthy and empowered state for ourselves. So take your time.

23:31

Again, that's part of the expectation process that we really want to try to eliminate. And one of the ways to eliminate it is to understand that you begin in shorter segments, a student was sharing this example with me, they were hiking alone, and they were able to kind of meditate as they were hiking. And they said I was in this state is so beautiful in nature. And it was great because I could focus on nature. But then all of a sudden, it was like this time period would come up and my brain would just almost, it just snapped back to my problems and things that I had been worried about. And I thought what happened, you know, I was in this beautiful place moving and walking. And that's what I'm talking about. Sometimes we have to retrain our system, that it's safe, it's safe to stay longer and longer in periods of time, that are relaxed, that are soft, that are calm, and that the answers that we need will be able to reach us but our nervous system or patterns of thought, our usual patterns of thought that we've been trained in that we've used for so long, will come up and say, "Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute, we have an emergency to fi! Let's get out of this state. Wait, we have to take action over here." And that's normal. So you just say "Hey, I gotcha, I gotcha, I hear you, I got you. But right now, I'm taking this beautiful hike. And we're in nature and all of the questions, all of the answers that we need are going to come, let's just give some breath to it, let's just give some space to it." And then you slowly are shifting that anxiety or reaction oriented energy that kind of took over your body, and you're slowly re tuning in and changing the tone of where you are.

25:38

And this is something that we do all day long, you don't have to be on a hike. But you would bring this for example, into your office space into your relationships, maybe you've been in a relaxed state, and you think of something or somebody does something that you react to. So you tune in, you say, I see my frequency just shifted, and I know what my true frequency is. And so let's see how I can breathe and bring myself back into alignment. And so that I can respond to this situation in a way that I really know, honors myself, and honors the other person, the other situation, so that we move away from this state, especially in our culture, where we are reacting and responding to everything without thinking first without being in alignment. And we are literally just losing our energy. It is so emotionally and energetically and physically draining, to continue to react and respond to emergencies.

26:48

And what I mean by emergencies is that when things are constantly triggered in you, your body, your system, your nervous system is responding like it's an emergency. And so all of these, and all of these hormones, all of this energy is moving through your body. And it's responding in an anxiety, nervous action oriented way. If we do that over and over again, we're exhausting our energy system, and our body is so beautiful, it was designed to be able to heal itself and to re energize itself. But when we have the tools to learn how to re energize ourselves and one of those tools is absolutely learning how to bring ourselves back into frequency - back into our aligned true frequency. We restore, regain rebuild, realign your energy, and that sets us up to be strong to be healthy.

27:51

I thank you so much for your continued questions and insights. I'll see you in the next episode. Thanks so much for joining me.

I'm so glad you're here! Stay connected with weekly insights & updates about energetic well-being > CLICK HERE to join my email list!

27:59

[Outro] Thank you for tuning in. If you'd like to learn more and elevate your energetic well being I invite you to visit the art of tuning in.com where you can learn all about our online studio. I look forward to meeting you there.