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Staying Neutral When Something Feels Bad | episode 85

emotional overwhelm energetic neutrality forgivness neutral Dec 15, 2023

Answering some of your great questions in episode #085...

"Dr. Maria, sometimes when I'm meditating and I'm holding light for something, bad thoughts about something else that I'm afraid of come in.  Am I then adding light to those bad thoughts or images?"

And the second question that came in was...

"How do you stay neutral in your energy when someone is acting with a lot of darkness?"

Let's explore!

Transcript for Staying Neutral When Something Feels Bad | #085 | Maria Furlano, DMQ (China), MTOM, L.Ac.

Hello, everybody, welcome. I'm Maria Furlano. Welcome to The Art Of Tuning In Podcast. So something new that you will see or if you're listening, you'll hear, I am now doing my best to put my podcast episodes on YouTube. So hello there, if you're seeing me, for the first time on the podcast, if you usually listen to a podcast app, please go over to YouTube YouTube@Maria Furlano. And I'd love to see you over there. Please say hello, leave a comment, ask a question. So hello there. Welcome. Welcome to The Art Of Tuning In podcast. This is episode number 85. And the topic of today's episode is staying in neutral when something seems bad. I'm going to explain all about that because I received two great questions that we're on this topic, and I want to unpack those questions and share with you some things that I hope will be helpful, especially if you're someone who's working on your energy, who's moving into alignment, who wants to expand more, who wants to use your intuitive gifts, understanding energetic neutrality and understanding the reasons behind it are so important. If you're new here, welcome. I'm Maria Furlano. I'm a Doctor of Medical Qigong, a physician of Chinese Medicine and I'm a spiritual medium, I teach the energetic arts. And you can find out all about me at If you've been here for a while, thank you, thank you for being here, it is just a joy to do these episodes with you. Now, if you are looking forward to the new year to expand your energy to move into a different state of alignment with your intuition and your health and to elevate your consciousness, I just want to remind you that Accessing Your Center Core of Light, which is my five month immersion program is right now open for enrollment for discovery calls. So there's been a couple questions about that. You can access all the info, I'll put the links below, but you go to, forward slash 5 month immersion, or go to And you'll be able to click to the info page link. But the discovery calls are happening now. Because I meet with people in a very brief but joyful conversation. It's fun, don't be afraid of it at all we get to converse, I get to find out a little bit about what you're looking for what you're wanting to explore. And if this program might be a good fit for you. There are three different options in this program that you can follow. So please go and learn all about it. I'd love to meet you. And I'd love to work with you in this group. It is a limited group, only 20 participants. And so it's very focused and wonderful and great connection. So go find out more All right, 5 month immersion. Here we go. So questions that came in. "Dr. Maria, sometimes when I'm meditating, and I'm holding light for something, bad thoughts about something else that I'm afraid of come in. Am I then adding light to those bad thoughts or images?" That was the first question. And the second question that came in. "How do you stay neutral in your energy when someone is acting with a lot of darkness?" So these two questions are so good. They go hand in hand. It's all about how do we stay neutral? What happens when these thoughts come in? What's happening to our energy that we're sending out? And so it is just beautiful to put these two together and to unpack them? I know a lot of people have this question. I've gotten similar questions like this throughout the years. And it brings up our topic of energetic neutrality. It also brings up the topic of judgment and how judgment affects our energetic alignment. So first of all, let's talk about the judgment. There is a difference between knowing your truth and knowing what you believe to be true, what you hold to be true for yourself what you would like to see in the world, right from wrong that you believe is right and wrong. And understanding that there are a lot of opinions in the world. There's a lot of belief systems in the world and everybody is coming from a vast amount of different experiences. If we can understand that, our own light our own opinion, our own focus on something is that Our belief system. And we can honor that. And we can also honor where somebody else is, even if we don't agree with them, even if it's downright awful. Can we hold compassion? And can we move into a state of energetic neutrality, without judgment? That is really spiritual expansion. When we talk about what is spirituality, what are we working towards? How are we, you know, holding ourselves in a state of love, it really starts with understanding that we all come from different views, and that we have a different way of looking at the world and that that's okay. We have to be okay first with understanding that it's okay how everybody thinks, believes and acts and that can be very difficult for people. Because we may completely not agree with how they're thinking and acting and treating another person, or treating the world treating animals treating the planet. But we have to come from a state of understanding, if only if we want to be able to move into a state of compassion, and a state of energetic neutrality, which takes us deeper into the flow of creating something new. So I always look at things like I'm an energetic detective, and it helps me a lot, because I'm just like everybody else, I react and respond to things that are mean, that are that are not right, that are that I believe, right, that I believe, from my point of view are mean or not right, or not justified or bad for the planet or bad for people. I react that way I react and respond. And I've had to learn to go in and say, Okay, I still hold this true for myself. But how can I hold a state of light and be able to hold that state of light that is projecting into the world, we're going to talk about that in a minute, hold that state of light, when I'm really upset when what's happening over there is triggering everything inside of me? What do I do? Is is really normal. And so I want to make sure that you understand, it's not like all of a sudden you move into this place where you're walking around, and everything is perfect, and nothing triggers you and there's nothing happening. You know, we're not robots, that's not what's happening. We're always going to be reacting or responding to what is going on in the world. And we're always going to be reacting responding from our point of view and our past experiences, which is what brings me to the next part. Everyone has past experiences that they are moving through their life from. And if someone is acting from a state that is not love, that is not respect for another person. That is not respect for themselves. That is not respect for an animal or the planet that comes from a very deep place of emptiness within themselves, of not being able to hold the light for themselves. Which is why when you are expanding your energy, when you are wanting to move into a higher consciousness, it is so important to look dead on at all of the things in your life that you judge that you hold. Ill thoughts towards that you hold judgments towards that you condemn. That's really the word I'm looking for is that you condemn, because you can't condemn something else. And hold light. Light is light. You want to hold that state of energetic neutrality and have compassion, understand what's happening. Again, this is where people really struggle. When we hold a state of energetic neutrality and we hold a state of compassion, it does not mean that we forgive, or we forget what's happening. When we hold a state of energetic neutral, and we hold a state of compassion for something, it does not mean that we're giving permission for that particular thing to happen. This is very similar when we talk about forgiveness for ourself and forgiveness for an event that happened in our life. When we're doing forgiveness work. A lot of times people have a very hard time forgiving an event in their life even though if they could find that forgiveness state if they could let it go they would feel so much better. But they believe that if they forgive that event, or situation or person or place or thing or whatever it is that they are saying that was okay that that happened. And that is not what we're saying when we give forgiveness and when we hold compassion. We're holding compassion and forgiveness at a much deeper level we're looking through, it's why I said before, it's like you're an energetic detective, you're looking through the energy into the pure cause of why someone or something is behaving or playing out in a certain way? Where is that root coming from? Because as you know, in Chinese Medicine and Medical Qigong, there's a belief of Yin and Yang, this Yin and Yang energy is all about creation, it's about transformation, it's about receiving, it's about giving. It's a perfect balance of things continuously flowing within another. And so when people talk about the light, and the dark, light, and dark, are continually mutually interdependent on each other, and their growth cycles and their creative cycles, and we're constantly learning from each other. You can be someone who wants to hold yourself in a state of light, and a state of love, and be extremely judgmental of many things in the world. And what happens when we do that? What happens when we hold a state of love and light, and we work towards that we we practice it. And then we hold judgments about things that are happening. So we're talking about judgment, that is more condemning when you hold that vibration. So if you think about it right now, and if you feel it in your body right now, and you were to put yourself into a beautiful aligned state, and you were to feel good, and you were to feel relaxed, and you were to think of joy, and you were really happy. And you all of a sudden saw something heard something that was extremely disturbing to you. And you began to say or feel or see, this is absolutely wrong, I condemn this, I judge this, I absolutely don't agree with this, what happens to your vibrational state, it completely shifts, you might feel it in your stomach, you know, you might feel all of a sudden tension in your neck, everything changes in your body frequency changes quickly, when we go from emotion to emotion. And so when we want to hold ourselves in a state of energetic neutrality, and we want to project that energy out into the world of holding light, if we then are moving into states where we are judging something where we are condemning something, where we are angry at something, where we are saying that is wrong, our vibration shifts, and all that we're wanting to hold and put out in the world that is full of light, also shifts. So this first question, sometimes when I'm meditating, I'm holding light and then bad thoughts come in and I'm still holding light and the question is, am I adding light to those bad thoughts? This is such a good question. Because if we're truly powerful, and if we're in our alignment, and we're projecting energy out into the world, whatever we're thinking and feeling is energy that is being projected. So what I'd like to do is I'd like to share with you what to do, when that happens, because it does happen sometimes, especially when we're processing through emotions, especially when we're moving and changing. And we're expanding our energy that we're going through all these different shifts in our body, so things do happen. So if you're in this state, and you're holding a space of beautiful light, and you all of a sudden have a memory or you see something that you just saw, you know, could be past, it could be something that's happening present, and it comes in to you in the state. What I always share with people is just pause your energy. Slowly, very, very, very slowly open your eyes, breathe into your belly. And stand up and start to shake your body. Move your body, shake your body and let it go and honor what's coming up for you honor these thoughts that are moving through you. If you will allow the thoughts, the emotions and the feelings to move through you. And you don't try to push down and I'm going to stay in the light. I'm going to stay in the light. Okay, I'm going to come back to neutral. Let's say you can feel was just canceling out each other. So you want to learn to be very present, there's something that you know I've talked about before that you sure heard about is called spiritual bypassing. It's when we try to push through something and ignore it, pretend it's not there and just say, everything's fine, everything's fine. So we're not wanting to just push through and say, everything's fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, because it doesn't work. You want to honor what's happening with you, you want to take a pause, and you want to let it go, and shaking out your body and breathing and you know, walking around moving it through your body feeling what you're feeling? Where is it coming from? What is the anger, or the sadness? Or the shame or the guilt? Or whatever it is that's coming up? What is that, and take the time for you to feel it, and for it to move through you. Because it's surfacing for many reasons. Number one, it wants you to know about it, you're holding on to it. And so what can you learn from it? What is it there to teach you? Number two, when we go into deep states of relaxation, moving into energetic neutral, we can begin to access things in our tissues of memory that we're holding, and they can begin to surface. And this is part of our own healing and cleansing, which is wonderfully healing for us. But if we don't pay attention to it, and we just try to shove it down and stay in this very happy state, then we're just continuing to shove it down, and we're not actually clearing anything. And chances are, it's going to happen the next time you meditate, and the next time you're trying to relax, the things are going to come up, they're gonna come up in your dreams. So we want them to surface and come out of you. If you cry, if you feel like you have to make noise, if you feel like you need to punch a punching bag, you know, be safe with yourself. But moving it through the body is the most important thing. And once we do that, you feel a relief. And when that issue no longer triggers any emotional state and you you know that you've released it, the charge is gone. The trigger the emotional pain, or confusion or anger or angst, or whatever it is, is calm, it's neutral and you know, you've cleared it, this is really important. We are constantly clearing things. Because as we move through the world, we're constantly experiencing things. And hopefully, they're nice things, but they're not all nice things. And so we have to experience the cleansing part of it as well. And of course, you know that I teach all kinds of practices to do that getting into your center, accessing your center core of light moving through your body, Qi Gong breath, posture, and there's also thought form work that we look at, what are we chronically thinking about? How are those thoughts impacting our energy? How are they draining us? How are they uplifting us? Right? So all of these things are normal? And yes, if you're meditating, and if you're holding this beautiful state, and all of a sudden, images are coming in that are not in this beautiful state, whatever it is, you're holding, yes, you are feeding energy to. So this is why we want to clear it. And with the second question, why you want to hold that state of neutrality, when you see something that you feel is holding a lot of darkness is because when you're in a state of neutrality, you're in alignment. So in alignment is also part of being in a state of neutrality. It's not reacting and responding to everything that you're seeing. What that means is, you're not being pushed and pulled. So when I talk about reacting and responding, physically, you know, if you're bouncing around, you can picture on bouncing around from thing to thing that's reacting and responding, reacting and responding. You're not being pushed, and pulled, you're not losing your center. When you move into that state of energetic neutral, you're in that state of alignment. You see things from a much broader view, you feel things from a much broader view, you know things from a much broader view, and you're able to allow your energy to rise above the immediate situation that you're being shown and see feel no here however, it is your experience your intuitive knowing, know the truth of what's really behind the energy with knowing the truth of what's really behind the energy, finding the compassion, of what's behind the energy, finding the compassion of why this circumstance you is showing itself this way why this person is acting this way, when we find the compassion, then we can hold that compassion, we can move into our alignment. And we can send light to the circumstance when I do my energetic alignment. And I do any kind of prayers or sending of light to the world. And what that means for me is I send light to both sides. So for example, if there's a war going on, it doesn't matter what I personally believe is right or wrong, who is right and wrong, which side is right and wrong. I send divine light to both sides, because I am holding compassion for what it is that I personally feel is not right. But if I go into my highest light, my most my most expanded place. Do I know what's right and wrong? Do I really know? So going into the state of neutral, holding that space, and then holding compassion light for both sides, allows for the highest vibration to manifest and take place. And this can be something that is very easy for people to understand and say, Yes, of course, I get it. If someone is in pain, and they're acting out, and they're making decisions that are hurting other people, then obviously, they're in pain, because they're not acting from love. And so they need love and support, yes, I can find the compassion in that. And I can send them that love and support because I can have that understanding, as I can send the same love and support to what we call the victims of what has happened in that circumstance. Because they need the love and support from what they're receiving. And sometimes that's very easy for people to find, especially if they have been on a spiritual path. If they understand how energy expands and contracts and moves in life. We understand that we're we're all working together in different ways. But sometimes it can trigger people and say, Well, I can never possibly do that. I could never send somebody who is mean or violent or evil, which is a judgment, right? I'm not saying that it's wrong or right. I'm just saying it's a judgment, just like it's a judgment saying somebody is full of light and love and perfect. That's a judgment. So you have to look at both sides. What are we doing? What are we thinking? What are we believing? Then coming to the energetic state of neutral? And understanding that both sides Yin and Yang are both mutually supporting each other? And how do we find the light in that? So I hope that this brought some good insights today. I hope that it made sense to you. I hope that it's something that you can explore and expand on. If you're watching on YouTube, please leave a comment, ask a question. I'd love to read them and hear from you know, how this topic made you feel. And also if you haven't taken advantage of my free offering Holding Space, it's a live guided meditation that I do every single week online. We've been doing it now for about 13 weeks, and it's been wonderful. They are recorded and you have access to those recordings, but you must register for holding space. So you can go on over to forward slash Holding Space. And I'd love to see you there. If you can't join live, you have access to the recordings totally free, no strings attached. Come join us elevate your energy. I'd love to share with you that it's my gift to you and it's just been really a wonderful experience with everybody wonderful journey. So thank you all who are part of that. Have a beautiful beautiful week. I will see you in the next episode.

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