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Do you take on other people's energy? | #030

depleted energy vampire Nov 16, 2020

There’s a lot of people who feel they want to be a support system for others, but also feeling like they’re always dumped on and feel drained. I know this all to well on a personal level of years of taking on other people’s energy and thinking it just had to be that way. Please join me today for some helpful insights.

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Transcript episode #030 | Maria Furlano, DMQ (China), MTOM, L.Ac.

[Intro]  Welcome to The Art Of Tuning In Podcast with Maria Furlano, sharing insights, tools and conversations to inspire your energetic well being. 


Hello, everyone, welcome. This is Maria Furlano. Thanks for joining me today. Today we’re going to talk about taking on other people’s energy. Is it something that you do? Is it something that you know, other people do? How do you feel about it? It’s a question that came up for me a few weeks ago, when people were asking about intuition, and how to align and their intuition, and also about taking on other people’s energy. And when you’re in energetic alignment, how does that work? How do you not take on other people’s energy is taking on other people’s energy, a good thing to do? Is it a form of helping them? 


If this is a topic that interests you, I want you to know that inside my membership, the art of tuning in, you can visit it by, we’re going to be doing a series all about taking on other people’s energy, and of course, clearing our own energy, we have a whole bunch of tools inside the membership, but it’s all about energetic alignment. And so if taking on other people’s energy is something that you naturally do, and you don’t want to do it anymore. You can go deeper with those actual tools of how to clear align and reset your energy and also support your energy by coming on over and joining the membership. And I can’t wait to meet you. 

Are you a support system for other people’s energy?


What I want to share with you today about taking on other people’s energy, again, has everything to do with how you choose to align your own energy. There’s a lot of people who feel they want to be a support system for others. And they also notice that they are constantly a support system for others, and that they’re kind of feeling like they’re always dumped upon. And I want to address that today in this podcast episode. Because you don’t have to be that way. It’s your choice that you’re taking on that energy. 


However, what I’m going to say is that it’s not necessarily your fault. Because if you don’t know how to clear align and reset your energy, and how to hold your energetic space and how to hold your energetic boundaries and your emotional boundaries and places in your life, then you may not necessarily realize how much energy you are taking on from others. And I’m going to share a story today that I hope will help us learn a little more about this. 

– Quick Breathing Break –


First, as always, let’s take a nice deep breath. If you’re new to my podcast, welcome, I always ask people in the beginning to start to breathe and to align their energy. And the reason why I do this is because the more we practice this, the more we move it into our daily day, our daily day of practice, the more we do that, the more we naturally align our energy, the more we open our intuition, the more we calm our nervous system, the more we relax our heart rate and move into a state of peace. So I asked people to take a nice deep breath in and an even longer exhale, and you can exhale out your mouth, that’s totally fine. inhale through your nose, exhale out your mouth. And just allow yourself bring in this beautiful oxygen that supports you and let go of everything that you don’t need in this moment. So a nice long inhale. And a really nice long, exhale. Beautiful. 


And I’m going to point out before I continue with this podcast that there is a plane that is circling above me. And it’s been circling for quite a while. And so if you hear that, I hope that it doesn’t interfere too much. 

Taking on other people’s energy…


Back to my little story here about taking on other people’s energy. When I began doing energetic work and learning about energetic flow. I was very young. I was 12 years old when I started my formal practice of martial arts. And then into my 20’s I began to really study Qigong and meditation. And so I have been using these tools of Soul/Mind/Body Practices for well over 30 years. When I went into energetic working with people. I was actually in my late 20’s, I began as a massage therapist. Then I moved into becoming a physician of Chinese medicine and acupuncture. I was a teacher and I was also a teacher of Qigong. 

I noticed I was taking on other peoples energy in my work


When I was doing the massage and energy work before I had learned Chinese medicine, I was really noticing how much energy I was taking on from my clients. And there was a point where I actually wasn’t sure if I would continue doing that kind of work. Because I would come home. And I don’t know if maybe you can relate to this? Because you don’t have to be in that kind of job, in order to take on people’s energy, you can be anywhere and be someone who tends to take people’s energy, you may feel by the end of your day that you feel tired, you may notice that some of the stuff that the people had like my situation, let’s say I was treating a shoulder injury, I would come home and I would feel that issue in my shoulder that I just helped somebody else with, I would feel the moodiness that some of my clients had, I would feel the emotional energy that they had been dealing with, I knew that this wasn’t mine, and I would come home and I would be very tired sometimes. And I would also be emotionally unclear. 


Sometimes I’d feel kind of foggy, it felt like this doesn’t feel like me, this doesn’t feel like who I am. But you know, I’m carrying this around, and my clients would feel terrific. They would feel so great when they left. And the same thing would happen to me when people like friends, or they had a problem, and they would talk to me, and they would always say, Oh, I feel so much better. And I would not feel better after listening to them. 

Understanding energy is a gift…


So I bring this up, because I know there’s a lot of very energetically intuitive and sensitive people out there who listen to this podcast, who may be feeling the same. And I want you to look at it first as a gift, because it is a gift. It’s a gift that you are so intuitively sensitive, that you are able to really tune in and be present to how someone’s feeling and what they’re going through. And that you have this beautiful heart, this beautiful compassion, this beautiful gift to actually help them to heal what they are feeling. 

But you don’t need to take it home with you. 

And the one thing that I learned when I began studying Medical Qigong from the point of view of understanding that we had to really clear our energy, our physical energy, our meridian system and our energy fields, was that I learned that I didn’t have to take on energy anymore. So I had learned martial arts and meditation and Qi Gong, but I had not focused on actually the clearing of my energy. And luckily, when I was going through this, I had people around me who said, you just sound like you need to learn to clear your energy and be more aligned and more in tune with taking care of yourself and not taking on everybody else’s energy and blaming other people for how you feel. 

Blaming others for how you feel?


What I mean by that is it can be very easy. And I hear it all the time. I do and I know this is gonna sound harsh, but I hear it so much from the healing community that their clients or people have kind of dumped their energy on them, and that they’ve taken it. Well, you don’t have to do that. And even if it may feel right now like somebody’s dumping their energy on you, and this can be in your relationships as well.

Again, I said you don’t have to be a healer, to feel like you are taking on other people’s energy, it just tends to be that people in healing positions who work so closely, so long, focused one on one with other people can tend to be subject to more emotions that come out and more you know, energy exchange in a way.

But you definitely don’t have to be you can be a CEO and a company and take on the energy of everything that’s around you. You can be a mom or a dad and be taking on the energy of your children of your relationships. You can be a person walking down the street and take on the energy of somebody you have a conversation with. So this is not at all held to any one position. 

We don’t know how?


But what happens is that when we don’t take responsibility, because maybe we don’t know how to use tools every day, that really clear our energy field and reset us for our next client or next meeting or next conversation, or our next lunch with our friend or a beautiful date with our mate. If we don’t take the time to clear our energy, then we’re not being really responsible for our alignment of energy. 

And you know, I talk about energetic alignment all the time, because alignment of your energy is everything about how you move through your life in your day. So there are specific tools to clear your energy, I, of course, teach them, but I want to share with you something today, you could start to do right now. 

Number one | Energetic Awareness


And number one, of course, is just to be aware to be aware that vibration is all around us. emotion is a vibration. And we are constantly exchanging energy, if you can picture somebody breathing on you, or you breathing on somebody else, that is the exact same visual that I have as far as energy exchange. When we move into somebodies awareness into their presence, when we’re working with someone, even when we’re thinking about someone, there’s an exchange of energy. And it’s like breathing on each other. So as you can feel someone’s breath is you can smell somebody’s breath. And you can feel the heat or the cold of somebody’s breath. That is energy exchange.

So even though you may not be able to see energy, the aura of someone, or the emotional energy of someone, you might be not able to, you know, see it, touch it, feel it tangibly like you can a breath, it’s the same exchange. And if we could understand what I try to share with people is that if you could really understand that energy is real, and that we’re constantly exchanging it, then you would be able to be more clear in your boundaries. 

Number 2 | Energetic Boundaries


So that’s the second thing I want to bring up. We have physical tools of movement in Qigong and breathing and mental focus of clearing our energies. But before we even use those tools, we have to understand that we have to learn to create clear boundaries.

And that doesn’t mean that we’re mean or that we’re pushing someone away. What it means is having this understanding of energetic exchange that we don’t have to take on everybody’s energy, I’ve talked another podcast about this energetic space of neutrality that I teach. Energetic neutrality is moving into a space within yourself of aligned energy, where you’re able to hold your own alignment, and be present in your life. That’s a boundary.

Holding your own presence is a boundary…

So a boundary of being able to hold your own presence, hold your own alignment, be given support through the energy of the earth, through the energy of the universe, that moves through you. To be given support, and then be able to stand in presence for someone else, but not take on their energy. That’s a skill. And it is a practice. And it’s not something that we necessarily grow up with in our life, unless you’ve done a lot of that practices. It’s something that can be developed. And it can be developed not as long as people think it can be developed more quickly with practice. And it’s really valuable. 

Because if you’re starting to feel drained in your life, you might want to look at the fact if you are taking on energy, in general, other people’s energy. But I also want to point out that we have the energy of the TV that we take on, we have the energy of the news and information that comes into us with our televisions, our phones, our computers. 

Energy exchange is happening all the time…


Anything that you hear about is an emotional energetic exchange, your energetic fields, your energetic system takes on that energy, it processes that energy. So how you learn to hold your alignment in your life, how you learn to have your own practice of alignment, determines how much of that energy you take on, and how much of that energy you’re able to consciously hear, be aware of, and then let go. They’re very different. You can be aware, you can be present for someone and I really want to make this clear, because this is really the whole point. You can be present for someone, but you do not have to take on their emotional energy. 

I don’t feel energy?

Now for someone who doesn’t naturally take on emotional energy for someone who knows how to hold their alignment, or maybe they’re not as emotionally intuitively sensitive, that for someone is like “well, of course you wouldn’t take on somebody’s emotional energy.”?? Of course you would do that! You know, they might not understand that. 

I do feel energy…

What if you are someone who naturally, really feels empathically somebody’s energy, somebody’s emotion, somebody’s state of being…

Then you have to be extra conscious of holding your alignment, clearing your energy, resetting your energy, understanding where the emotions are coming from, and being able to hold your boundary system and being able to hold yourself in full support. 

So I hope that that gives you a little bit of openness, a little bit of new thought around this topic. If you have any questions, please reach out and again if you want to learn how to reset and ground and create your own boundaries, please visit my membership, I would love to meet you and work with you and I thank you for being here. Have a beautiful week! 


[Outro] Thank you for tuning in. If you’d like to learn more and elevate your energetic well being I invite you to visit The Art Of Tuning In Podcast comm where you can learn all about our online studio. I look forward to meeting you there. 

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