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What if I just don't feel grateful? Sharing insights to this great question #065

What if I just don't feel grateful? | #065

depressed gratitude overwhelm sad Dec 01, 2021
 

What do you do if you just don't feel grateful? What if you're going through so much, that you can't find that kind of alignment for yourself? I'm answering this question from a listener today and sharing a tool you can explore to find support for yourself that can grow into finding that space of gratitude for yourself and your life.


Episode Transcript | #065 | Maria Furlano, DMQ (China), MTOM, L.Ac.

0:01 [INTRO] Welcome to the Art of tuning in podcast with Maria Furlano, sharing insights, tools and conversations to inspire your energetic well being.

0:12
Hello, everyone. Welcome. This is Maria Furlano. Thank you for joining me on the art of tuning in Podcast, episode number 65. Today, I got a great question from a listener, thank you so much. And it's really about what if I just don't feel grateful? I'm going to get into the question and get into sharing some insights about that. I think it's a great question. I think more people feel this way than they would like to admit.

0:41
And if you're new here, welcome to the podcast, it's great to have you here. I'm a physician of Chinese Medicine, a doctor of Medical Qigong. And as a teacher and a coach, I help people move into a deeper relationship with their mind and body energy so that they can cultivate emotional balance. And I'm all about teaching people how to align their energy so that they can learn how to hold that alignment. You know, in energetic medicine, we talk about getting into alignment, getting into a higher frequency, being connected with our intuition. And that's wonderful to talk about. But it's another thing to actually do it. And that's what I do, I help people learn these fantastic skills, through Medical Qigong through Eastern medicine through energetic medicine, to really learn how to access that deep part of themselves that is truly connected to who they are. I've been doing it for over 20 years. I love it. I have a membership. If you are interested, please go to theartoftuningin.com and you'll see the studio membership. I'd love to work with you there.

1:55
Great question this week. Let me read it to you. And this is from Vicki and Vicki. Thank you, it says "Dear Maria,I've heard for years now how important being grateful is I get it intellectually, but I've been going through difficult things for a long time now. And I just don't feel grateful about any of it. I know that makes me sound like a bad person. Because I know I'm better off than a lot of people. But I just can't seem to think gratefully. Any insights are appreciated. Thank you for your podcast. ~ Vicki."

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2:30
Well, Vicki, thank you for listening. First of all, thank you. And thank you for your question. And you're not the only one who feels this way. So your question helps a lot of people, I certainly understand the not feeling grateful part, it is true that feeling grateful is very important. And I'm going to tell you why it's a benefit. And I'm also going to give a tool today, I hope will help people move into that space, even when it just doesn't feel like you want to go there.

3:01
First and foremost, things happen in life, that can be really sad, and really bad. And you don't feel grateful about any of that. And you shouldn't I mean, that's not what we're trying to do. We're not trying to put on a happy face about anything happening in life. That is not good. But what gratitude does. And the reason why, you've heard Vicki, like you said in your question that you've heard for many years, how important being grateful is the reason why you continue to hear that and why everybody continues to hear that is because gratitude is a frequency. And when we feel gratitude when we feel grateful, when we feel appreciative when we really honor what we have in our life, our frequency elevates.

3:53
And when our vibrational frequency elevates, we're able to connect more easily to who we truly are, which is beyond this body and beyond this physical realm. And we're able to connect into an alignment, and alignment that can give us a broader viewpoint than what's happening right in front of us. And that's our goal is, we have a lot of support, we have a lot of spiritual energetic support. But when we are not in an elevated frequency, it can be very hard to access that because we close it off. And so that's why gratitude gratitude practices being grateful, like I said, honoring what we have in our life is brought up so often simply because it shifts our frequency and if you've been listening for a while, Vicki, you know I talk about frequency all the time because it's the most important thing for healing, for creating in our life and for living in a place of an aligned place that we really want to be And you know that conscious alignment. So what happens when you just don't feel grateful?

5:05
Well, you know what I'm gonna tell you Vicky, and everybody out there, that's okay. It's okay to be angry, it's okay to to feel like I just am not grateful. It's okay. But just recognize that we are lowering our frequency when we do this. And sometimes, what's really happening, if we do it for a long enough time, is we're cutting ourselves off from the guidance and the help that we actually can get from this expanded frequency of alignment. But you've said in your question that you've been going through difficult times for a long time now. And what happens when we go through difficult things for an extended period of time. So when we go through something difficult, and it's a shorter period of time, we tend to move through those things, and then kind of come out the other end.

6:09
But when we've been stuck in something are some things that are difficult, because what happens generally, when we're dealing with something difficult, and we stay in that space for a long time, more and more and more things become difficult. And so it's like this cascade of ever growing difficult things. And that can feel like you are sitting under, you know, a pile of stuff, and really can't feel like you can ever get out of it. And that's very hard to find the gratitude in that because it feels never ending, you know, when we talk about overwhelming, it's overwhelming, it's never ending, but it's really blocking any kind of light.

 

6:52
And it's important that we realize that because we are in control of how we choose to think and how we choose to feel. And so sometimes when we're in this space, and what's so great about this question is that you're asking it, you're asking it, which means that you're looking to change and shift how you feel may not feel like you can change it right now. But the fact that you're reaching out, that you asked shows that you are looking for a new way. And that's really important, because your intuitive knowing is wanting to move you to a happier place. So this is why I love this question. And with all that's going on in the world with all that has been going on in the world, especially in the last couple years, a lot of people are feeling overwhelmed, they're feeling stressed or not feeling very grateful. They're feeling pretty bitter, there's a lot of bitterness that's happening. And then for others, they're in a great space.

7:58
And what I've learned in my life is that generally people who are in a great space, have learned how to be in that great space, they actively work on it.

8:09
And that is what the gratitude practices are really about. They're a practice, right, we say practices, because it's something that we want to continue to do continue to grow. And when you want to be in an elevated state, it does take practice, because there is so much happening in our world and so much happening in our daily life, that it can be overwhelming. And if we're not setting ourselves up, if we're not learning how to clear energy if we're not learning how to align ourselves, and we're not willing to understand that that is a daily practice that it doesn't just like I set myself and everything in my life is roses, then we can create great things if we're willing to create the practice.

8:56
So I want to give you a little something today that actually came up. It's so wonderful. I love when these questions come in, and they're so coincidental with what I just did. If you follow me on Instagram, I had a quote this past week that I put up from Rumi and it says "Wear gratitude like a cloak, and it will feed every corner of your life." Rumi I'll say it one more time, "Wear gratitude like a cloak, and it will feed every corner of your life."

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9:32
What I love about this quote and the reason why I'm repeating it is because it is so visual, it is so tangible, "Wear gratitude, like a cloak." And this is why I say that sometimes when we really can't get ourselves to find The gratitude, we need to move into a practice where we create something, when we're children, we have very easy imaginations, you know, when you see children playing, it's so amazing the worlds that they can create for themselves, they can instantaneously be in the most magical place, sitting on the corner, and creating these beautiful stories. And they are so in it, right? They are completely in what it is, they are creating every part of them. I remember once I was watching these children, there were friends neighbors, friends of ours. And I went over to the children to ask them a question. And they were playing this game, they were in this magical land. And it was so fascinating to me. But I had to go over and ask them a question. And I pulled them out of that magical land, and they look so stunned, right, like coming back to real life. And I had to laugh. And I thought, Oh, that is so beautiful. It was such a great reminder.

11:05
The thing is, is that when we do energetic practices, like the practices that I teach, and I've done throughout my life, you move into this state where you are creating an energetic shift in your body and in your mind and in your emotions. And it's tangible, and you feel this alignment. And so of course, the more you practice that, the easier it becomes, and it is tangible, and you know that it's there, and you can feel it, and so you believe it. But when you're in a situation where maybe you haven't done that, or maybe you've gone through or going through really difficult, emotional things, it can be harder to get to that place, especially if it isn't practiced.

11:50
But maybe we can't think about all the things that we feel grateful for, because maybe we really don't feel grateful. But we can shift our energy into a softer space. Because when we shift into a softer, calmer space, our energy elevates. And we begin to bring into our life, the help we need, or a new vision that we need, when we constantly give attention to things that aren't right in our life. And this is where of course the gratitude and the appreciation comes in the reason why the gratitude practices and the appreciation practices and the honoring of our life and things that we have in our life and people we have in our life come into place is because what we focus on we create more of we actually feed energy into what it is we focus on. So if we are in a state where we are focusing our energy, you know, and thinking is focusing, that's what that means.

12:58
Where we are concentrating on things that are wrong, or sad, or what we feel are bad, or what we're just so ungrateful for, then that is giving energy to those things. And then it creates more of that in our life. And it's really as simple as that.

13:20
And so gratitude practices are there because they want to shift the energy, so that we focus on things that we are grateful for, because we want to bring more of those things into the now we want to create more of that, and less of the things that we're not so happy about. So this is why the gratitude practice the appreciation practice honoring what's here, being in a state of allowing a happier space, or, or a more softer space is important because we are literally giving energy to whatever it is we focus on. We may not feel that way we may feel like well, I'm focusing on this because I'm trying to work out the problem of it. But what we're really doing is we are feeding the problem of it.

14:11
And when we get to move into a state where we are more relaxed, we let go and when we let go, the answers can appear or help can appear. Sometimes the greatest moments of Revelation, or help or a problem being solved has been when I have been absolutely exhausted. And I'm so exhausted that I can't push against anything anymore, that I can't, you know, try to fix something and I just kind of completely let go because I'm I'm just too tired. And things begin to unfold in good ways because I'm not using my energy against what is good there to come in.

15:02
So if you've been going through a really hard time, and maybe you've experienced a really great loss, or you're really struggling, financially or physically or however you are, it's this is not about making something up, or not paying attention to what's happening in your life. It's not about that, not about numbing out, it's not about pretending. It's about understanding conscious alignment, it's about understanding that what we focus on, we feed energy into it becomes greater. So when we learn to relax when we take a moment, or two or three, because one of the things that I, you know, tell people, especially when I'm working with private clients is that if they're struggling through something wanting to heal something energetic medicine is not like going to the gym for 30 minutes or an hour, and you're doing your workout for the day. When you're shifting vibrations, and especially if you're struggling, you want to put into practice several times a day to continue to realign yourself, don't be afraid to do things like your breathing practices, like your Qigong like what I'm going to give you here, you know, resting relaxing many, many times a day, because the goal is to constantly reset your energy from where you are, if your energy is not in alignment with where you want it to be, then you need to reset it. And that can take time and it can take practice. Again, that's that practice word. That's what it's there for.

16:40
And as I said before, in the beautiful Rumi quote, the first part of the quote, "Wear gratitude like a cloak," if you're struggling, instead of trying to shift your brain into thinking about something you're grateful for, and feeling like you are just making it up picture the most beautiful, warm, fuzzy, soft, silky, what ever it is that you resonate with cloak, or coat, or blanket, wrapping around your shoulders, your arms, your back, all of you wrapping and holding you. And just sit and close your eyes for a moment and picture, the most beautiful color, the most beautiful temperature, the most beautiful fabric that is perfect for you, the most perfect weight, the most perfect scent, everything that feels good to you. And imagine and make this tangible, this beautiful blanket, this beautiful cloak that wraps around you and hold you and just spend some time in that. Don't try to force your brain to think about something or make something up feel held. Because when we can't get to a state of gratitude, it's a lot of times because we just don't feel supported. And when we begin with a place of support first, it's much easier to find our way to feeling grateful because we feel supported, they go hand in hand.

18:22
And if you have a blanket, or you have a favorite coat, or you have something that you can wrap around you even better, I have this beautiful blanket that a dear dear friend of mine made for me and I swear this blanket has magic in it. I mean, I really mean that I'm not being sarcastic at all, it is so soft. And when I put it around me it's like I can feel my friend and the love that she put into this. And I always instantly feel loved and cared for. So whenever I can I wrap that around me. In fact, I use it also as a meditation blanket. And it just helps me completely begin to soften my heart. If I don't have that blanket. I imagine that I'm putting it around me and I've done it now for so long, that it's become this tangible, energetic experience for me so I can feel it. I can feel it right now I can feel the weight of it, the temperature of it. And I feel supported and I feel loved. And sometimes we have to create a cloak like that for ourselves. Which is why I absolutely love this quote from Rumi, "Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life..."

19:44
But if you can't get to the gratitude, you must find your own support first because again, if you don't feel gratitude, it's probably because you don't feel supported.

19:57
So finding that support for yourself, creating it for yourself will help your energy to relax will help your energy to expand. And as you do that you shift your frequency so that your own intuitive wisdom and your own intuitive guidance, Divine Wisdom, what it is that you believe in, can show up more clearly and you're able to hear it, because you've changed, you've shifted the state that you're in. And as you're able to hear that guidance, you're able to make different decisions, new opportunities begin to open up for you. And that begins to shift the difficult places that you've been in. Otherwise, we just continue to repeat the same energy. And so the same difficult things keep showing up in our life.

20:46
I hope that that made some sense, it is such a good question. And like I said, I know a lot of people struggle with this. And a lot of people feel like they're making up things just go to a happy place - And that's not the core of being grateful and honoring where you are, and having a practice about blessings. That's not what that practice is about. It's about shifting your state of being. And it's about moving into an aligned state so that you're able to relax and allow in the guidance and you are feeding by focusing by focusing your energy, you are actually feeding the energy that you want in your life, you're not feeding the problems of the difficulties, but you're feeding the new and wonderful things that you want in your life presently, now!

21:39
Thank you so much for your question, transform that cloak into a cloak of support for yourself. From that cloak of support, you will find more and more gratitude, but it begins with feeling supported.

21:54
And if you're needing support right now with any anxiety with any overwhelm or you just want to learn to calm your mind. Go to theartoftuningin.com and you can sign up and get free access to my four minute guided visualization. It'll help you to root and ground your energy, you will be able to learn it and be able to do it anywhere at anytime you need. Go to theartoftuningin.com it's there on the homepage 4 minute guided visualization, and I would love to be able to support you in that way. Thank you for joining me and I will see you in the next episode.

22:34 [OUTRO] Thank you for tuning in. If you'd like to learn more and elevate your energetic well being I invite you to visit theartoftuningin.com where you can learn all about our online studio. I look forward to meeting you there.

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