Threshold Moments | Episode 109

This is the full transcript from Episode 109 of The Art of Tuning In Podcast. It reflects spoken language and is shared for those who prefer to read or revisit specific sections.

[Maria Furlano (00:00) When you're doing all the right things and you still feel off. Welcome to the Art of Tuning In podcast.

I'm Dr. Maria Furlano It's great to have you here today. And we're gonna be talking about when you're doing all the right things and you still feel off, what is really needed for your system? Because I feel that we are at a threshold right now.

We are at a threshold. collectively in our world and you may be at a threshold personally. I know that I am. I know that right now I am shifting and changing in ways that last year at this time I didn't imagine. And I also know that I made a really great intention for myself at the beginning of this year and that was to get support when I needed it. And I wanna talk to you a little bit about that because Most people who tune into this podcast, or who work with me privately or who work in my programs as students in Qigong or in energetic protection or in frequency shifting, all of those people tend in some way or another to hold space for others, whether they're a CEO, whether they're a creative professional. whether they are a healing practitioner, whether they are a mom, whether they are a dad, a teacher, it goes on and on.

They have the capacity to hold space. They know how to be with themselves and to support other people at the same time. They're usually people who get things done.

They're usually people who people count on. They're usually people who have given a ton of energy in their life. but often have not received that same amount of energy back and may or may not know how to give themselves that energy.

Generally, when we get depleted, it's because we don't know how to nourish ourselves. And of course, the tools, the medical Qigong, all of the intuitive tuning in, all of that helps support those things. But there's something about when you know how to hold space for others, you've generally learned a lot of things. You generally have a lot of answers. You generally have a lot of knowledge. You may even have learned a lot of tools.

But there becomes a point where you're at a threshold and you're standing at this threshold ready to cross over. And there's a decision that has to be made of what kind of support are you actually going to give yourself? How are you going to hold space for yourself?

And a lot of times you're doing all the tools, you're doing all the stuff, and it's just not working the same way anymore. That's usually when people come to see me. That's usually when people go to seek out something new. That's that threshold. And we can tend to walk through that threshold eagerly and say, I really want to create the shifts for myself.

Or we can stand, tend to stand just on that threshold. and be in fear and in worry and in knowing that something's gonna change and we might not be ready and both of those stages are completely okay. When we tune into ourselves, when we cross a threshold, when we're moving into something new, it takes a lot of courage.

It also takes understanding, having the faith to put yourself in alignment so that you get the support you need, so that you align with the support that you need.

And one of the things that you may want to do, if you're feeling like I'm doing all the things, I feel something new that needs to shift. What I'm doing just isn't working. I want you to remember to check in and say, what have I become comfortable with in my life?

Because humans love being comfortable and we will remain in an energy. We will remain in a relationship. We will remain in a job. We will remain in a living situation. We will remain with friendships that are comfortable. It doesn't necessarily mean that they're good for us or that we're good for them. It doesn't necessarily mean that they're supportive. It doesn't necessarily mean that we nurture and nourish ourselves, but they're comfortable.

And so a question to ask ourselves what's comfortable positively, what's comfortable negatively? So for example, you can be in a relationship and be really happy and be really comfortable. Or you could be in a relationship where you're not happy and you see a lot of things happening and there's a lot of little pieces that you might be ignoring, but it's comfortable. You're with someone, you're not alone, maybe you're sharing financial commitment, so it's just comfortable. It's just a routine, it's just where it is. But there is a piece that is not feeding the soul, that's not supporting you.

There's no judgment, no judgment at all, because we're all in those spaces in different parts of our life. But if we really want to step through a threshold and to change, it's just important to be really aware of what's comfortable, healthy, what's comfortable, not that healthy.

Being honest with ourself is where we have the frequency shift. to step into something new. If we're not honest with ourselves, then we will never look for something new. We will never be able to receive support in something new. We will never even know there's different opportunities out there. We will just kind of stay blindsided that we are doing what we're doing and this is the way it's been and this is the way it'll always be So when we're standing on a threshold, ready to walk through a threshold, can be very beneficial to stop and pause and just be, just ask, is this working for me? Am I comfortable with it? What would happen if I shifted this? How might that look? And what would I need kind of support or new opportunities or new viewpoints would I need to be able to see this differently?

Many people who are used to holding space for others are also used to doing and doing and doing, right? Are used to having the answers, are used to being the person that people come to, that people rely on. And that can be an identity.

That can be something that you become very used to holding. And it can also be a burden in the sense that you are always holding energy for others and you are not holding energy for yourself. And it can be very scary to step back from that and just be with yourself because you are used to always giving.

And it's okay that it's scary. It's just another honesty point of if I were to step back from this and I were to just be me, if I were to just be with myself if I were to say no to others. What does that do to my identity? Who am I if I do that? Who am I if I'm not taking care of all of these outside things? Who am I if I'm not the person that everybody relies on? Who am I? If I don't continue to push my energy and push my energy and show up even when I don't want to, even when I'm exhausted, but boy, they count on me.

So I show up and I continue to show them that I can. Who would I be if I said no? Who would I be if I stepped back and I really took care of myself? Because when we go in to energetic practices, What happens over a period of time is in the beginning, we're learning the practices, right? We're adjusting our body. We're tuning into our breath. We're tuning into our alignment. We're learning movements. We're learning different ways of being. And then we move into a space where we're just maintaining that, you know, we're maintaining those practices. We're maintaining who we are.

Energy is nice and flowing and we're comfortable in a good way, right? We're comfortable. Then we move into a threshold moment. And that threshold moment is the time when we're going to go deeper. When we have the opportunity to go deeper, I should say, because it's always a choice. You don't have to go deeper.

But when we go deeper, that means a greater presence with ourselves. That means really embodying the practice that we're doing. It means really embodying the silence. It means really embodying who we are and it means really embodying what we're going to say yes to what we're going to say no to and being okay with it. Not having the guilt that can often come with people who are used to showing up and saying yes, whether they want to or not, but they're used to it. It's their job. It's their identity. That's who they are.

When we talk about burnout and we talk about, you know, overwork, overthinking, exhaustion, frustration, resentments, all of those things. We talk about tension in the body. When we talk about pain in the body, when we talk about not sleeping, when we talk about headaches, when we talk about all digestion issues, when we talk about all of these things that are going on in the body that are causing problems in the body, pretty much they can have a root of over giving. of ourselves, of our energy and not knowing how to come home to ourselves and just be. And that can be really difficult.

I do not want to underestimate that I know how difficult that is. And this is not a lecture on putting people into guilt because they can't do that. I just want you to know that it's possible. come home to yourself and to be. And there are stages to it and it doesn't have to be all at once and your life doesn't have to fall apart. Your life will change, yes. What you resonated with before you won't resonate with in the same way.

That's why things in our life tend to fall away when we change things. And people can get very scared about that. They can say, well, if things fall away, what does that mean about my relationships, about my work, about, you know, my friends?

Well, as you're growing and you're shifting those relationships, your work, all of that will become more honest. That's the best way that I really have experienced it. And the best way that I can say it is the relationships, your work, your self. what you spend your time with, it becomes honest, it becomes who you are. You're not faking it anymore. You're not trying to do it anymore. It becomes in resonance, in harmony with who you are. And that's really beautiful. Your communication becomes clearer.

You know who you are.

And when you know who you are, You know who you want to spend time with. You know how you want to spend your time. You know it fulfills you. You know it gives you energy. You know it leaks or drains your energy.

So all of it becomes beautifully in balance. It's not like a huge earthquake that runs through you and all of sudden your life is a complete disaster. It does not have to be like that. When we shift our frequency, when we walk through a threshold into something new, It's a journey. And if it's done with quality and with love and with peace and with all of these beautiful frequencies, it can be quite an enjoyable journey. Even through the hard stuff. Because it's how we look at things.

So I just wanted to come on today and to really address the fact that our world is going through a threshold moment. And more than likely, you may be too. I know I am.

Everyone who is in my life, I know they're going through different for every single person, their own threshold moment. What lies ahead for them, what lies ahead for us as a collective.

We're in a number one year moving into the yang fire horse. for the lunar new year on February 17th. All of those energies are very, very moving. And we want that momentum. It can be beautiful to pull us forward into beautiful new things. It really can. It can be inspiring, creative, wonderful. There can be tons of vitality. It's not to be feared. Movement is good.

But being still and knowing who you are, saying no, understanding you're comfortable with that's healthy and what you're comfortable with that isn't healthy for you anymore.

Those are really good things to know because they bring you back to the honesty of who you are and your identity. These are really big things. If you didn't do those things anymore, what would your identity be? Who would you be? Who are you alone with yourself?

I feel that if each of us could get comfortable with being alone with ourself of understanding who we are. It will change the entire collective and all of the energy of the world will shift. When we stop pushing, we dissolve that pushing energy.

When we learn to hold sacred space, we hold sacred space. When we see energy that way, we understand that energy is real. We understand that it actually comes out through us.

So if we're busy, busy, busy doing things that leak or drain our energy, then we are putting that out into the world. When we take care of ourselves, when we hold space for ourselves, when we know who we are, when we stop, when we slow down, when we get support, when we laugh, when we play, when we rest - That's the energy that goes out into the world.

That's what we're holding space for. There's a big difference in strength and vitality of that energy than of pushing and leaking and draining and doing things that we don't really want to do because we're used to doing it or because we're comfortable doing it. There's a big, big difference.

So I would love to hear how you feel about being at a threshold, crossing a threshold, being comfortable in your life. and knowing the difference between positive comfort and comfort that you've just gotten used to. And how are you feeling about the collective? All of these questions, there's so many things I'd love to know. Love to know how you're feeling. I'd love to know what you're struggling with. Perhaps there's something that I can share that will be supportive. but most of all, I thank you for being here.

And I thank you for... being you and I thank you for having the courage to show up for yourself. We need you. The collective needs you to be who you are. Have a beautiful day, afternoon or evening whenever you're watching this, and I will see you in the next episode.]